Happy Easter from a puddle of puke…
Dear reader, I am writing to you as I lie on my floor with four fans blowing in my bedroom. My baby Peanut is teething and I am exhausted from cleaning up her self induced exorcist level vomit. Poor kid was scratching her gums with a baby spoon, but unfortunately they are the back molars, and her gag reflex kicked in. There was vomit right in the middle of my bed and my bedroom floor. I will likely be sleeping on a Lazy Boy tonight.
Our Easter started harmless enough. With some breakfast and cartoons. Nothing to write about. Peanut was extra hyper and so were the boys, Walter and Charles, so I decided a nice long walk along the creek would help. I got the boys in their harnesses, Peanut in her wagon, a Red Bull in the cup holder, and away we went. It was hot, the wagon was heavy, and the dogs were pulling; But none of that bothered me. It was a good workout without a lot of people around, and there was still water in the creek with geese to gander at.
As we were nearing the end of mile two of our trek, I was approached by a man who wanted to pet the boys. I didn’t mind as they are sweet boys but then I had to hear David’s life story. That was his name. He lives in the same city as I do, he used to run marathons but had to have heart surgery for a condition he was born with, and after the surgery was no longer allowed to run. But that is okay because he is 58, and healthy and happy. All self-disclosed unsolicited information. He asked me my name and the names of my boys and baby. He was a nice man. Sweet even. But I was being tugged on by 60lbs of dogs and pushing 50 pounds of wagon and baby. I was sweaty and tired, and talking to strangers gives me anxiety.
Why am I telling you about 58 year old David? Because I have lived at my house for a very long time and two things stood out to me — I have never ever seen this David before, and people know not to talk to me because I am anxious and weird. And even though David told me about himself, I couldn’t help but wonder — who is this David?
We got home shortly after our David encounter and proceeded to do our weekly ritual of dancing and singing along to the movie Trolls World Tour. We have an entire choreography nailed down, but let me tell you it is not easy! My dance partner, Peanut, requires I lift, dip, and swing her around. It’s exhausting. But I am happy to report that today’s matinee performance went smoothly without incident. Another one for the books!
Back to the vomit… Peanut has been teething pretty badly and scratching with her baby plastic spoons which is mostly harmless. I have been trying the dissolving tablets that are supposed to help with the discomfort but she dramatically gags every time I give her some. And I test everything she consumes, so trust me when I say they taste like nothing and dissolve within a couple seconds. Nonetheless she refuses and sticks to her spoon method. Well, today the spoons failed us. They failed me especially because I’m not sure if my bedroom will ever not smell like baby vomit again. Needless to say I own every type of carpet and upholstery cleaner you could imagine, so I spent my afternoon like Cinderella scrubbing and cleaning. And now here, writing to you, listening to the fans, watching Peanut rock on my Lazy Boy, lying on the floor, and enjoy the smell of Easter vomit. #Blessed.
By the way, Happy Easter / Pascha (if you celebrate). Easter is a Christian celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. And I know what you’re thinking — what does a bunny, candy, and eggs have to do with Easter? The Egg is a Christian symbol of the resurrection. The hard shell followed by the baby chick breaking through it is compared to the tomb Jesus was in, and his subsequent breaking free of it. Eggs, thus, are a symbol of life and rebirth. And although rabbits do not lay eggs, they are symbolic of reproduction and new life, as they have 12 or more babies per cycle of birth. And candy… well, let’s face it, we just like candy. We use it for every damn celebration.
So, I did not get a picture of David or the puke, but here are some pictures from this long day that still isn’t over…
Pckt Cndy with David Taylor Gomes has been put on hold while he relocates to his new home in Seattle. It is an exciting move for him and hopefully a smooth transition!
Meanwhile, I am excited to announce that I will be producing a mini solo podcast. It will be 30 minute episodes of crazy stories about managing motherhood in this madness. This ain’t your Karen’s mommy blog — I will have no advice and no unsolicited commentary on your parenting. I will not help you or guide you through your parenting issues, but instead more likely than not leave you with more questions than answers; as that’s my constant condition. So I really hope you will humor me and listen, and come laugh with me and laugh at me. More promo materials for it coming soon!
What I am watching…
I realize have not mentioned the more light-hearted, non-stream service needed sitcoms I’ve been watching, but on CBS I love the sweetness of Bob Hearts Abishola. Such an unexpected couple played beautifully. Very diverse cast and cute comedy. A feel-good way to spend 30 minutes.
Also, The Connors on ABC. As many of you may know, I got into a Twitter right with Roseanne Barr leading to her blocking me, but fuck that hoe, The Connors is a solid show. The writing is good, the characters’ emotional growth and professional trajectory are realistic and stick to the theme the original show was committed to — a regular working blue collar family. It also has clever comedy mixed in for a fairly entertaining half an hour.
Public Service Announcement:
Get fucking vaccinated, asshole. I say it with all the love. And, even if you do get the vaccine, keep wearing your God damn mask! We are so close y’all. Let’s do this! Xoxo, T & Peanut.